i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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