I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize