Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
