I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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