i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
