smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
