But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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