Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Can I color on your dick again?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
