he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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