what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize