ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
