The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
