So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
