I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
