I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
