i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
