And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
