Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This is the high leading the old right now
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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