put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
