No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
