I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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