went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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