we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize