I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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