Where is the hickey?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
