How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize