I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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