fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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