so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
