Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
