People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
