he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
