your room smells of hookers.
And success
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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