from now on my penis is your penis
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
