Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
