the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
