so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We are two peas in an std pod
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
