I feel great
I just peed on a car
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
