So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize