Me. At least after what I've been through.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
