Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
