How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
