i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize