i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
