this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
