Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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