You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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