i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
