$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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