Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
