haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
