don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
