I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
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