So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Randomize