perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
