whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
