Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
