Porn is love you can see.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
